(This started out being one post...got a little long so it's to be continued)
Damn.... Two weeks since a blog post. You people really need to hound me more. I'm a little amazed I've actually managed to muster up the effort for this, as I just purchased a PS3 and Batman: Arkham Asylum and have fallen under the Dark Knight's spell (just call me the Dork Knight).
That being said, on the the main topic- my eccentricities. I truly believe that I push the limits of the term “eccentric” (and eclectic, but that's another matter). There's a variety of reasons. I'll start with the most obvious. A couple years back, I was diagnosed with depression. I've been taking meds since. At first I kinda kept it a secret, then I decided to say fuck it and be open about it (ah....growing up).
One stat I found says that about 10% of adult Americans suffer from some form of depression (upliftprogram.com). While there are all kinds of other related disorders (bipolar, etc.), there are two main types of depression. There is major depression. This is the “huddle in the corner and rock back and forth for two weeks” kind of depression. Well, maybe not that bad, but you get the idea. It stops your life. If you've known me for the last two years, you can probably figure out that's not me, eeing as how I haven't been huddled in a corner over that time.
While a shrink has never told me this, upon doing some research (which I highly suggest – for everything), I found I have what is called dysthemic depression. The symptoms are milder. They don't interfere with your life, at least not directly. Officially, to be diagnosed with this, you have to have symptoms for two –count 'em....2-- years.
Let's go over some symptoms. It was really bad for me the Fall of 2007. It started with an all the time sadness punctuated with times of elatedness. Not so extreme as bipolarism, but same kind of idea. Now that I mention it, let's get one thing out of the way. Depression medications are not “happy pills.” You can't magically take a pill and be that crazy Food Network chick Giada (grinning at you above). They “stabilize” your mood. Make the roller coaster more of a Sunday afternoon cruise.
I was also kind of paranoid. I always thought that everyone was against me. While kind of funny looking back, not a pleasant feeling at the time. I wanted to be everywhere at once. If I went home (I.e. my parent's house) for a weekend, I'd constantly be wondering what everyone else was doing. When I was in class, I felt like I was missing something somewhere.
Unfortunately, the person who got the brunt of my.. ehhem... attitude... was Liz. I was the quintessential jealous boyfriend. Pair that with the ups and downs, I'm still amazed she stayed with me through that crap (must be my boyish good looks).
The weird thing was that I knew something wasn't right. I could stand back and say “man, I'm being an ass – what the hell is wrong with me?” So I decided to see psychologist (the lay on the couch and tell them your feelings kind of doc). While this REALLY helped, we realized I was probably chemically off as well (both of my parents have depression), so I saw a psychiatrist (they give you drugs), who agreed.
And here we are.
Holy shit-- a full page (at least in my word processor). I guess I'll continue this next post, I don't want to overload you. If you think you may have depression, seek help, I'm open for any questions you may have.
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